Well through what was felt from the consensus of my idea storm idea 4 will be pushed forward as the primary idea of Unit 4. Meg made a very good observation noticing that my act structure doesn't resolve this is what has ultimately resulted in me cutting the only written & developed section from my idea.
From there I have written numerous versions of my act structure trying to simplify it down to something tangible not so convoluted. I was originally going to play the Son angle but even he has been cut now so this script is down to a manageable size. Mike (now Mike Little) is just a miserable guy playing the role security guard turned boss.
To those that haven't read the original act structure here it is:
Act 1: Mike gazes at Ames Smidt's tomb stone baffled as to why the toymaker left his factory to him
Act 2: The idea of toys as fun continues to baffle Mike his employees try to make him understand
Act 3: Unable to get past the image of the catapult from his mind Mike flashes back to his past
I have since changed the entire idea because the act structure was not resolving & the obstacles appeared to be presented in Act 3 as opposed to Act 2. Act 1 just felt like the only part which was obsolete my environment isn't a grave yard ITS A FACTORY!
I have kept all the stages of development even the ones I felt like throwing at someone anyway I will break it down below.
The Patchwork Epiphany Cut Draft
My initial draft is above but the content of it has already been scrapped - it wasn't even complete but I felt I should post it so Phil can see the development process which transpired. I got to a point where I thought to myself what is stopping the 3 act structure from working here and this beginning was the reason - too convoluted and didn't really have a place in the story which is a shame because I liked it... but as Phil said "poof whats the next idea".
The image above is the draft storyboard which I will now be throwing away, this is just for the record. If you follow the script you will notice where it fits and how long that would probably make my animatic. WAAAAAAAY TOO LONG!!
V1 (shown above) was my first draft at working out a decent act structure for this idea. It just felt waaaaay too long for me if I couldn't sum these acts up briefly then something is wrong. I used that logic to move on but the lesson would be learnt later... a lot later.
V2 (shown above) had my ex security guard vacating the cemetery having been called to the factory on an urgent matter. Long story short he crashes on the way there which triggers the flash back into his past where he meets the man who gave him the toy factory Smidt. I scrapped this idea because It bypasses my environment - the factory entirely.
V3 (shown above) was more attempted refinement of the story structure but as you can see its just waaaaay too big for a 1 minute short. This is also where I noticed the son angle was becoming too large requiring more resolution which would mean even more scenes.
V4 (shown above) was when I tried merging Act 1 & 2 together creating a larger Act 1 allowing Act 2 to focus on Mikes vision into the past. Which would ultimately make Act 3 mike awakening in the factory with his employees helping him to his feet. This felt much more resolved to me but for my own curiosity I kept the Son in this draft.
V5 (shown above) was much more organised but it still felt as though I was pushing too much into Act 3. Which helped me isolate the underline problem (the grave yard). I thought I'd free up more room in Act 1 & make it about the factory Act 2 would be about my protagonists obstacle (flash back), while Act 3 would be my resolution.
V6 (shown above) was my turning point. The story begins with Mike entering the factory having being called in to inspect a truck (still performing his security duty's). Mike is hit on the head by a crate in the truck and enters a dream state where he meets his ex boss smidt who shows him his past which involves him breaking a window with a catapult. His father comes out and yells at him telling him to grow up & toys are pointless. Mike reawakens in Act 3 a bit dazed but as he walks away he notices the box that hit him on the head was full of catapults. Mike smiles as he realises that the message was indeed from his ex boss.
From all of the above steps I was able to break down the act structure as follows:
Act 1: Grumpy Ex-security guard turned Boss Mike enters his factory catching his employees dossing. Mike yells at them & tells them to get to work. Mike walks into the back of the loading truck to inspect the load when a box falls on his head knocking him out.
Act 2: Mike enters a dream state where he meets the Toy Factory's ex owner Ames Smidt. Smidt helps him to his feet and shows him a memory he had long forgotten. A young carefree Mike breaking a window with a catapult, his father walks out & yells at him stating that toys & fun are pointless - telling him to grow up. Smidt smiles at him almost as to absolves him.
Act 3: Mike Re-awakens with a bit of a headache, Mike is helped to his feet. Mike looks around longingly until his notices the box that hit him in the head was full of catapults. Mike smiles knowing that some how what he saw was a direct message from his ex boss Smidt.
This to me is a much better act structure which resolves. The obstacle is now in the correct place (Act 2) where it belongs. I guess we will see how the script writing process goes from here.
Thanks everyone for their input on the idea storm at least I have a consensus now I just hope it is the correct one.
Over & Out,
xXStItChXx
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